Good morning, fellas! I just want to take this opportunity to say how grateful I am to Deacon Joe and JP for asking me to come and be a part of this retreat for you all today. One of my many responsibilities at Holy Family is serving as the Chaplain for our Knights of Columbus council and as Chaplain for our Troops of St. George group, a new ministry that we are getting started for Fathers and Sons. And what I have seen in my own experience of ministry within those capacities is the beautiful witness that a genuine, an authentic, an integrated Catholic man can be to his family, to his loved ones, and to the community. And yet, many of our men, many of the guys who come to Mass each week, many of the men who are Catholic who do not come to Mass are failing to live up to how the Lord is calling us to be those examples and to lead our families – not just in the general sense, but most especially in the spiritual sense.
Brothers, if we look at what culture and society are selling us today, we really do find ourselves in a time when the very essence of what it means to be a man is under attack. Society is increasingly pushing a particular narrative that challenges the traditional roles of men – and we’re seeing the effects that narrative is having on many of our young men and also many of our young women. It often leads to confusion about what it genuinely means to be a man; it leads to uncertainty in how men are supposed to act and lead; and, ultimately, it leads to passivity, men totally neglecting their responsibility to lead and instead putting that in the hands of someone else – whether that be their wife, (in some instances) their children, the Church, social structures, or something else.
We hear messages that suggest masculinity is something toxic, something to be suppressed or redefined. But as Catholic men, we know that our identity is not and should not be defined by the latest cultural trends. We need the reminder that our identity as men is defined by God Himself. So this morning, we’re going to explore the need for us to stand up – stand up in our homes, our parishes, and in the wider world – as men who know who we are in Christ and who are not afraid to live that out.
THE CRISIS OF MODERN MASCULINITY
For the first part of my talk, I want to focus a bit on the crisis that we are seeing in our modern understanding of masculinity, specifically focusing on some of those cultural shifts we have seen and the impact their having on our families and communities.
Cultural Shifts
In recent decades, our culture has undergone a dramatic redefinition of masculinity. Traditionally, men were seen as protectors, providers, and leaders, especially in their families. These roles were understood as responsibilities that came with love, strength, and self-sacrifice. But today, the very idea of manhood is often met with suspicion or even outright hostility. Terms like “toxic masculinity” have become commonplace, giving the world this perception that masculinity is something harmful that needs to be fixed or suppressed, eradicated even.
We see this in various areas of society: entertainment, media, and even education…they have all begun to promote the idea that traditional male traits – like assertiveness, leadership, competitiveness, and strength – are outdated or even oppressive, in some sense. Men are being encouraged to step back from their natural roles, roles that are instinctual, meaning they’re in our very DNA as men. All that has done is caused confusion, which we know is not from God. It’s caused confusion in terms of sexuality, discipline of children, division of labor in the home…the list goes on and on. And sadly, it has caused many men to retreat into apathy.
The result? There is now a vacuum where men are unsure of who they are or what they are meant to be. Without strong role models or clear expectations, many men feel lost. They either withdraw into isolation, engage in destructive behaviors (angry outbursts, addictions), or settle for mediocrity; ultimately, men are living without the sense of purpose that God intended for them. Instead of using their strength for good, they either abandon it or misuse it.
That shift has also affected how men interact with women. Rather than complementing one another in relationships based on mutual respect and love, men are often encouraged to compete with women or to reject their natural role as protectors and providers. Guys, do we not recognize how that undermines both family life and the dignity of the masculine vocation?
Impact on Families and Communities
This crisis isn’t just a personal issue; it has serious implications for our families and communities. When men step back from their God-given roles, the consequences are felt everywhere. Families suffer when fathers are absent or disengaged. Communities weaken when men don’t take up the mantle of leadership. The rise of secularism has only compounded those issues, as fewer men see the value in participating in the spiritual life – both in their own lives and in leading their families. We’re seeing the effects: broken families, a loss of moral direction, and a society increasingly adrift from the truth.
THE CATHOLIC VISION OF MASCULINITY
Scriptural Foundation
But there is hope! The confusion of the world stands in stark contrast to the clear and compelling vision of masculinity that our faith offers. Scripture gives us a powerful foundation. Who does Scripture say that we, as men, are supposed to be? Let’s take a look…
Genesis 1:26 – “Then God said: Let us make human beings in our image, after our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, the tame animals, all the wild animals, and all the creatures that crawl on the earth.” – We’re created in God’s image and likeness, we are given authority over nature.
Ecclesiastes 12:13 – “Fear God and keep his commandments, for this concerns all humankind.” – The author of Ecclesiastes is basically writing a letter to himself, an autobiographical narrative about how he should live, and what’s valuable in this life. Among those things: fearing God, recognizing that He is God and we are not…following His commandments.
1 Corinthians 11 – Most of the chapter talks about the different roles of men and women in the community. While some of these are no longer applicable because of modern styles, we can look at the basics of what it’s saying
11:3 “Christ is the head of every man, and a husband the head of his wife, and God the head of Christ.” – the husband is the head of his wife, meaning the leader of the family, but we take Christ as our example of how to love and care for wives and family.
11:7 “A man…is the image and glory of God.”
11:11 – “Woman is not independent of man or man of woman in the Lord.” – the two sexes need each other, their complementary to each other
Ephesians 5:25-29 – “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. o [also] husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church.”
St. Paul is telling us that true masculinity is not about domination; it’s not about lording it over women or children. Instead, we are called to be other Christ’s. True masculinity is about self-giving love, sacrifice, and service. It’s about laying down your life for your wife, for your children, your family, your Church.
1 Corinthians 16:13 – “Be on your guard, stand firm in the faith, be courageous, be strong.” This is the call for every man to be vigilant, to stand firm in the faith, and to be courageous in living it out.
Guys, that’s who Scripture says we should be. Are we living that way? Are we doing what the Holy Spirit is instructing us? Are we surrendering to the Lord in the ways that we need to be? If we still don’t know what being a man looks like, let’s look at some saints who lived this Scriptural understanding of masculinity well.
Role Models
The saints provide us with incredible role models of what it means to live as true men of God.
St. Joseph: He was the quiet, strong, and obedient protector of the Holy Family. For the role that he played in the life of Jesus and the Blessed Mother, isn’t it interesting that the man doesn’t speak a word in Scripture? In fact, his silence speaks volumes about the strength of his character. He was a man of action, not words, who provided and protected his family with unwavering faithfulness.
St. Maximilian Kolbe: Or consider St. Maximilian Kolbe, who offered his life in place of another man in Auschwitz, exemplifying the ultimate sacrifice.
St. Thomas More, who stood up against the king himself, refusing to compromise his faith, even at the cost of his life.
St. Louis Martin: The father of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. He was a loving husband, raising five daughters in the faith, all of whom became nuns. He supported them spiritually and emotionally, even as he endured hardships and personal suffering.
St. Ignatius of Loyola: A former soldier who underwent a profound conversion and founded the Jesuits. His discipline, strategic mindset, and zeal for the Gospel transformed the Church and the world.
St. John Paul II: A modern saint, a man who was not only a brilliant philosopher and theologian but also a man of great physical and spiritual strength. He spoke out boldly for the dignity of life, the sanctity of marriage, and the role of men in the family and society. His deep devotion to the Blessed Mother and his witness to forgiveness, even forgiving his would-be assassin, show us that true masculinity is marked by courage, mercy, and a deep love for others.
Guys, these saints show us that Catholic masculinity involves not just physical strength, but moral courage, self-sacrifice, humility, and a deep reliance on God’s grace. These men didn’t live passive lives – they actively pursued holiness, stood for truth, and led others by their example. These are the role models we can follow in standing up in today’s culture.
The Call to Spiritual Leadership
As Catholic men, we are called to be the spiritual leaders in our homes and our communities. This isn’t optional! It’s our God-given responsibility. We have to lead our families in prayer; we have to be the first to participate in the sacraments; we have to be those witnesses who model a life of faith. In the public square, we must not be afraid to stand up for what is right and true, even when it’s unpopular…in fact, especially when it’s unpopular. The world needs men who are willing to defend our faith and who live it boldly.
So, how do we do that?
PRACTICAL WAYS TO STAND UP IN MODERN CULTURE
Personal Holiness
First, we have to commit to personal holiness. This is the foundation of everything else. We can’t give what we don’t have, and so we need to cultivate our relationship with God through daily prayer, frequently receiving the sacraments, especially the Eucharist and Confession, and regularly reading Scripture. Holiness isn’t just for priests, guys…it’s for every one of us. When we strive for holiness, we become the men God created us to be, and we’re able to lead others by our example.
Family Leadership
Second, family leadership…the Lord needs men to take up their role as leaders in our families. That means being present physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It means making the spiritual welfare of our families our top priority. When is the last time that you took the time to pray with your wife and children? If you are, wonderful; keep it up. If you’re not, start. Lead them in attending Mass, in reading Scripture, in serving others. Show them what it means to live as a Catholic man, not just by your words, but by your actions.
Active Engagement in the Church and Society
Finally, we need to be active members in our parishes and communities. The Church needs men who are willing to step up, to serve, and to lead. If you’re not already part of the men’s ministry here join it…volunteer for ministries, get involved in parish activities. And beyond the Church walls, be a voice for truth and justice in society. Don’t be afraid to stand up for your faith in the workplace, in your community, and in the public square. Our world desperately needs men who are willing to speak the truth in love, to defend the dignity of every human person, and to be witnesses of Christ’s love in a world that often rejects it.
CONCLUSION
Brothers, the time is now. We can no longer afford to be passive or silent. The world needs men who are strong in their faith, who are willing to lead their families and communities, and who are not afraid to stand up for the truth. That is our vocation, that is our responsibility as Catholic men. So, today, I want to challenge each of you to make a commitment – commit to personal holiness, to leading your families, and to being active in the Church and in society. Because y’all, the Church, the Lord, our children, our culture desperately needs you to be the men God created you to be.
Fr. Tom Pringle 