Today we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family and it invites us to look at the home of Nazareth, to look at the lives of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph and to see it not as something distant or idealized, but as a real family. They were real people, living ordinary life but with extraordinary love. The Holy Family didn’t live in a bubble, they weren’t protected from stress, misunderstanding, or hardship. They worked, there were things that they worried about…but they also trusted God in everything that they experienced. And that’s exactly why they’re such a powerful example for us, they’re a model for us to follow. The Holy Family shows us that holiness is lived out in kitchens and workshops, in conversations and compromises, in forgiveness and patience, in choosing love again and again.

St. Paul, in our second reading from his Letter to the Colossians, gives us this practical vision of what this kind of holiness looks like. He tells us that we should all try to be compassionate , kind, humble, gentle, and patient. He speaks about bearing with one another, offering each other forgiveness, and above all, striving to love one another. Love is that virtue that binds everything together in perfect harmony. This isn’t abstract theology. This is a blueprint for family life. This is what the Holy Family lived, and it’s what every Christian household is called to strive for.

Paul goes on to dive a little bit deeper into specific relationships within the family, especially between husbands and wives. At the heart of it all is this command to live in love, as Christ loves. Husbands, you are called to love your wives as Christ loves the Church. What does that love look like? It’s a love that is total, faithful, and sacrificial. It’s a love that doesn’t grasp for power or control; instead, it pours itself out for the good of the other. Christ’s love for His Bride wasn’t convenient and it certainly wasn’t easy. Because look where it led! It led Him to the Cross. That’s the measure of love that Paul sets before husbands. So guys, you’ve got the bigger responsibility here. You’ve got a taller order to follow.

Now, this is where the passage can start to make people feel a bit uncomfortable; whenever we get to the word subordinate comes up. In other translations, submissive is the word chosen. But that discomfort usually comes from a misunderstanding of what Paul is actually saying. Subordination/submission doesn’t mean inferiority, silence, or being diminished. The words themselves point to being under a shared mission (sub-missio, “under the mission of” / sub-ordinatio, “under the order of”).  What Paul is saying here is that wives are invited to be under the mission of their husbands, but only because the mission of the husband is clearly defined. His mission is to love like Christ. Tenderly. Gently. Humbly. Sacrificially. Any form of dominance, selfishness, or neglect is a failure of that mission, not its fulfillment.

When a husband truly strives to love his wife as Christ loves the Church, he creates space for trust, safety, and mutual self-giving. And when a wife responds with love and trust, she’s not losing herself. Instead, she’s freely choosing to walk alongside her husband toward a shared goal. That goal is nothing less than heaven. Marriage, and family life in general, is meant to be a school of holiness, a place where we help one another become saints.

That’s exactly what we see in the Holy Family. Joseph leads not through force, but through obedience to God and quiet sacrifice. Mary entrusts herself to Jospeh and to that mission not because she’s weak, but because she’s strong in faith. And then Jesus grows within that atmosphere of love, within that family where respect is fostered, where the mission is the same for everyone. Nazareth becomes holy not because it is perfect, but because God is at the center and love governs every relationship.

Paul then goes on to mention the relationships between children and parents. He reminds us that authority in the Christian home is always ordered toward love, not frustration or resentment. Children learn obedience not through fear, but through being formed in an environment where they are loved. Parents, your role is not to crush spirits; your role is to nurture hearts, to foster faith, to strive for love.

For all of us, whether married, single, widowed, young, or old, this feast is asking us some honest questions. What kind of spirit shapes our homes and our relationships? Are we compassionate and kind toward one another? Is forgiveness practiced? Is love the bond that holds things together? The Holy Family doesn’t ask us to replicate their circumstances; they want us to imitate their virtues.

The Feast of the Holy Family reminds us that holiness isn’t built on grand moments, but in daily faithfulness. It’s formed when love is chosen, when forgiveness is offered freely, and when Christ is kept at the center. If we allow the example of Nazareth to shape the way we speak, the way we sacrifice, and the way we love, our families will become living witnesses of God’s presence in the world. That’s the quiet but powerful mission that has been entrusted to every Christian family. Now let’s go live it.

Photo: The Holy Family, Sincerely Media. Used under Unsplash license.